Rsd Nation Tyler 6 Steps Of Critical Thinking
“Believe the Hype...
The Blueprint Superconference is Here...”
Based on the upcoming massive book release "The Blueprint" comes the most advanced, cutting-edge Superconference that RSD has ever delivered.
I’m incredibly psyched to announce that “The Blueprint” Superconference is now here.
As you guys know, I’ve spent the last three years writing a book (my personal masterpiece) on the subject of how to be totally, ridiculously successful with women.
This title of this upcoming book (scheduled for release in late 2007) is “The Blueprint: Attraction, Authenticity, and Deep Identity Level Change”.
What I’m talking about is the culmination of my years of wisdom from teaching LIVE in the field workshops to guys all around the world every single weekend for the last five years.
All of my little distinctions and ways of transferring the skills of how to attract women from myself to you in record time – that’s what we’re talking about here.
I’m literally giving away the whole store… Nothing will be held back.
Now you might have noticed that I’ve written 1000s of pages in articles in the past three years (both on RSD Nation and the RSD Blog), and wonder why I haven’t released a book of only a few hundred pages in that time.
Being very frank, I wanted to take my time so that my book would be hands down the “go-to” material for learning how to achieve total mastery in this awesome area.
I’ve come to a point of total frustration with the direction of this “success with women” industry, with all the carbon-copy, un-field tested material that’s being released to the general public.
In case you haven’t noticed, anyone with a website and a dream can be a “guru” these days regardless of whether or not they have a shred of skill or credibility.
Ladies and gentlemen welcome to the Internet… The wonderful world where even your World-Of-Warcraft addicted uncle Bob can be a “guru”.
Anyway, seeing this emerging trend I made the decision to really take my time with the release of my Books and Super Conferences, and make sure that they’d be the absolute top-notch, trend-setting, paradigm establishing material out there.
As this industry becomes more and more oversaturated with over-hype and fly-by-night dating companies, it’s been more important than ever to set our standards as the most sky-high in the industry.
I’ve made it my personal goal to release only the best of the best.
That’s where “THE BLUEPRINT SUPERCONFERENCE” comes in……
A Superconference that’s specifically geared for guys who want to go deeper in their understanding and hardcore as possible in their personal odyssey of self-actualization and success with women.
Right now i sit in my hotel room, literally scared. I feel as though I wanna call my mum. I'm 21 years old, have been with more than 50 women after losing my virginity at 17. I am confident as fuck...bulletproof even. I have got game and nightly results reflect it.
But it's all different now. So different that I’m scared. Everything I thought I knew it now gone. Goooone. Metaphorically, i had been driving through life in a nice family sedan. It’s as though i have just been handed the keys to a McLaren F1, and all that that entails.
To reiterate, since getting into the community a few months ago, I worked through all my sticking points and got good. Now none of it matters. I thought I knew how it worked, but Tyler has just reconfigured my brain, my beliefs, my perception and my reality.
James T. from Sydney, Australia
Everyone Is Looking For The Magic Pill
One of the biggest things I constantly notice when I’m meeting guys who study this stuff is that most of them actually believe that there’s a “magic pill” for meeting women.
This is pretty much an extension of the general public’s mindset where they hear about this stuff and ask “DOES *IT* REALLY WORK??”
The thing is... there’s no “it” to “really work”.
This isn’t about a set of tricks but becoming an authentically attractive guy. It’s not something you do, but something you are.
See, anyone can learn to be phenomenally successful with women.
But you’ve got to give up any unrealistic “magic pill” notions that you have about it.
There is no set of magic lines or techniques that sends women’s underwear flying off, and if there was, it would be on every news channel and billboard on the face of the planet.
Sorry to break anyone’s hopes and dreams here.
I mean, let’s say you’re a guy who lacks confidence and social experience, and you take on this false persona and magic techniques in some ill-devised effort to make yourself more attractive…
Have you really accomplished anything??
Of course not…
That’s like trying to use a magic-marker to draw washboard abs onto a flabby round belly. It’s like painting a thin veneer of “game” over a persona that isn’t actually attractive yet.
Fundamentally, it’s becoming a more potent, robotic version of your women-repellent self – creating even further layers of distance between yourself and the girls that you’re trying to connect with.
That’s why the whole “magic pill” or “super techniques” system is flawed.
There’s nothing wrong with techniques. Some of them are awesome.
The thing is, you’ve got to have that core confidence, sense of identity, and self-esteem that’s underneath it – and believe it or not, striving to manipulate a bunch of women into sleeping with you will not cultivate that.
Even if it did work (which it rarely does) all it would do it give you a big fat over-inflated ego that you constantly have to maintain in order to keep your sense of self afloat.
Obviously there’s got to be a more practical, realistic – not to mention faster and easier – wayof learning this stuff…
I was at the Blueprint Superconference in Sydney last weekend. And guys… IT WAS ABSOLUTELY AMAZING!!!
In the seminar, Tyler focuses on inner game and developing the qualities that naturally attract women. As Tyler says, the ultimate goal is to be able to attract women just by virtue of who you are. This means having women approach you and having women wanting you simply from talking small talk – without twirly routines, flashy clothes and other gimmicks. Tyler offers a clear step-by-step guide on achieving this. He discusses in detail the social conditioning and personal success barriers that limit so many of us and reveals ways to blast past these to be the person you have always wanted to become.
In an industry filled with big egos, tired cliché and marketing hype, the Blueprint stands far beyond what else is out there. The teachings are profound and in keeping with modern psychological research, yet are presented in a way that is highly original and, in my opinion, truly revolutionary. I cannot recommend Tyler’s seminars or the Blueprint highly enough.
THANK YOU TYLER!!!
Michael from Sydney, Australia
I’m Only Looking For Tangible Results
If you’ve ever been out to a nightclub with me, you know that I’m not messing around.
I don’t make excuses…
If the hottest girl in the club walks in, I approach her and show you how it’s done. I could care less about teaching you to get girls “giggling” or to get a bunch of “phone numbers” that wind up flaking on you down the line.
That’s not real attraction.
As soon as the entertainment runs out she blows you off, and even if you get the phone number she flakes you off later on the phone (at least, if she even picks up your calls).
“The Blueprint Super Conference” is about is getting real attraction.
Is this actually possible?? Hell yes!!
I’ve personally taught more LIVE In-Field Dating Bootcamps than anyone else on the planet. I’m the guy who when other dating companies decide to start running copy-cat programs, they try to sign up under fake names to get their hands on the years-worth of innovations that have gone into it (I can’t tell you how often this happens).
There’s a wealth of knowledge and distinctions I’ve made over the years that allow me to teach a guy to be phenomenal with women in record time.
Every weekend that I teach a live program, I learn something new about how to teach this stuff more and more effectively – and I’ve been teaching this stuff every weekend for five years, non-stop.
Unlike most “figureheads” of other dating companies, I’ve continued to run the live programs personally because I gain a tremendous amount of self-esteem from seeing guys getting massive results.
Up in my head are a million little distinctions that I know make the difference between a guy being a massive success and being another self-help junkie that never actually gets a level of tangible results.
That’s what this Blueprint Superconference is all about…
Imparting you all off the distinctions I’ve made over the years, so that you can become your own best “guru”.
I want to teach critical thinking here.
This isn’t about teaching you to be a clone, but to teach real principles and substance.
It’s going to blow away anything that’s ever been done up until now.
I have to vouch for the power of this Super Conference. Not only for the information presented, but also by seeing the results firsthand.
Before getting into the community I had been with a lot of women. This seminar hit deep to the core of what made me successful when things were “on”. I’m taking away more distinctions and realizations that will take my game to a whole new level.
I see plenty of community guys who get the “twirly” techniques down, but seem to be missing something. You can tell they lack the authenticity and congruence that they, and the women they desire, look for. The information you presented this weekend should be required learning for anyone getting into the game.
For all you guys out there who are outcome dependant, reaction dependant and feel stifled by tactics and techniques when in social circles, you need to get you hands and brains wrapped around this information.
Steven M., from Orange County California
This Super Conference That Will
Change The Face Of The
“Success With Women” Industry … Forever
A little background on this upcoming Super Conference…
Back in 2004, I became aware that the "pickup material" that I relied upon was about to become VERY PUBLIC.
It bothered me that I had a solid method for meeting and attracting women, but that as it became more mainstream it would become tacky and played-out (which frankly, it has -- at least in any major city).
This was tough for me, but also a very good thing because it FORCED me to learn how to become a total natural.
As a result, I dropped all "pickup techniques" and embarked on a three year personal odyssey to master the art of being a total natural.
Fastforward to 2006, I have the ability to do everything I used to be able to do without using so much as a single "pickup technique". I reached this level by dropping all material and making countless little micro-distinctions about what made "natural game" work.
Think of it this way…
On the best night of your life, meeting women is totally natural.
Think back to your most "ON" night here. That's what I'm talking about.
When you're "ON", you can just walk up to a woman and say VIRTUALLY ANYTHING and have it work.
It’s like you’re unstoppable. Some people would call this "being in state".
Don’t you wish you could be that guy ALL THE TIME??
Well, I always wondered what it was that I was TAPPING INTO on the nights that I got those kinds of results.
See, for you guys who've been at this for a year or two it doesn’t really matter if you have a great night or not. It’s all a part of the learning curve.
But at my level, having been at this for 5-6 years, it's just too ridiculous to be having an "off night".
So I wanted to get TOTAL CONSISTENCY.
Like, there's nothing more ridiculous than when you're totally "ON" and you meet a great girl, and then you call her the next day when you've fallen out of that state and you screw it up over the phone.
It's like you're this incredible guy when you're "ON" and you met her, but you can't maintain that level of state to be the same attractive person over the long haul.
Well for me, it was all about cultivating that level of "AUTHENTICITY" or "DEEP IDENTITY LEVEL CHANGE" that allowed me to really BE that guy 100% of the time.
If you've watched Discs 7 and 8 of "Foundations" that's the type of themes that I'm covering here.......: DEEP, IDENTITY LEVEL CHANGE.
That’s what I’m trying to impart to you in this upcoming massive event…
Tyler’s presentation was polished, and savvy-professional. Throughout the two day seminar the main concepts were literally drummed into our consciousness. While the concepts were vague at first the ideas, their application, and the underlying purposes of them became totally clear by the end of the seminar.
The result, some openly emotional responses from some attendees and a collective shattering of realities. Perceptions were reconfigured and left to heal into the form of a rock solid belief system that is like nothing else ever presented. Ever.
In 15 hours of content presented, the only 'lines' that Tyler demonstrated to be used in the field were: "who are you". And that is the absolute brilliance of this break through seminar. I have to go now and allow my belieff systems heal, ready to be deployed in the field. My limitations no longer exist, and i cant the the end bracket of my potential.
Friends, take this opportunity if you have the chance. This is stuff literally is the 'best in the world' today.
James T. from Sydney, Australia
My Personal Guarantees For
“The Blueprint Superconference”
I have no hestitation to say that this SuperConference promises to be MIND-BENDING.
We did the first run of it in Sydney Australia this month, and the crowd response was off-the-chains. I'll include some of the reviews below.
This is the hottest ticket going right now, and can honestly say that I feel GENUINELY BAD for anyone operating without this information.
Here are the promises that I'll make for the upcoming BLUEPRINT SUPERCONFERENCE...
- The Blueprint SuperConference will be entirely NEW and DIFFERENT from anything that you've ever encountered in this industry (I don't care if you're the world's biggest seminar-junkie -- there is NOTHING like this out there).
- The Blueprint SuperConference will be the MOST POTENT and HIGHEST IMPACT material you've ever been exposed to.
- The Blueprint SuperConference will be the most LIFE CHANGING and TRANSFORMATIVE event that you've ever attended.
How do I make these claims??
Well honestly, again, I've spent THREE YEARS working like a DOG on this material.
That means going out religiously and testing the ideas, teaching live bootcamps every other weekend to see how to communicate the ideas to students, and doing constant research to make this the best program that I can make it.
This is my BABY right here...
I'm a young guy, and I'm building my intellectual legacy here for years to come. I'm paying my dues.
Beyond that, we're offering a 100% MONEY BACK GUARANTEE.
So let's say that the program is "pretty good" but not THE MOST MIND BENDING live program you've ever attended -- you just approach me and say "Look dude, great program but I signed up for THE BEST OF THE BEST" and you'll be refunded on the spot.
I have no hesitation to offer this refund policy simply because the room in Sydney was filled with guys having meltdowns at the quality of the material that was presented.
For those of you guys who've been on the RSD list, you know that I've never promoted a program this shamelessly, and I do so because I KNOW (not believe, but KNOW) that if you attend that you'll thank me profusely for pushing it.
What motivates women's actions? What drives them? Why are they attracted to some men and not others? We will discuss and explain sexual subcommunication and attraction. Topics during the Blueprint Superconference will include:
- How to engage a woman on a level that will escalate to the next level. Instant attraction can be achieved, and on a consistent basis with any woman that you approach.
- What do women find naturally attractive?
- How do you gain real lasting identity level change?
- How to avoid the same generic strategy that legions of other men are using to interact with women due to social conditioning.
- What is the core of attraction? Confidence? Humour? Positivity? Sexuality? Strength of Reality?... and the list of what we can talk about here goes on and on.
- Why sub-communication cues will trigger whether or not a woman wants you?
- How do you use your core sense of who you are to develop the true confidence you've always wanted with beautiful women?
- What are the healthy drivers that define individuality and drive you to have amazing women in your life?
- How do you put a value on your own standards, and use your own value to make you highly desirable to women so you will always feel empowered when interacting with gorgeous women?
- What can you do to gain ultimate control over your standards and interactions with women?
- Why having your own set of values, standards, and vision can define you and your success with women?
- How can the way people respond to you, and how you subcommunicate, give you the core-confidence to act in an attractive way?
- What are the steps that you need to take to get you where you want to be with women, and what will you need to do to force yourself to evolve?
- How does a man become good with women? Is there something that you must have developed inside of you to take your game to the next level?
And much more will be discussed ... That said, this seminar is booking up fast.
The hotel room that we're using has a limited capacity, and I'm only doing TWO of these before the release of "The Blueprint" book -- in NYC and London. Then, we will do the final cut in Los Angeles on the morning of our company's 5th year anniversary in Los Angeles.
I'm doing this to prepare myself for coming storm of attention, and after the book comes out the prices get adjusted to the demand and seats fill up even faster.
So if anything that I've spoken about in this letter resonates with you, book yourself a ticket NOW -- as in WHILE IT'S HOT IN YOUR MIND.
Consider that IF THIS SEMINAR REALLY DOES DELIVER on it's promises, that the value will be worth the cost.
If not, at least your curiousity is satisfied and you go home with your pockets no lighter than when you came on.
So signup today and join us at the Superconference. You will be thrilled that you did.
The seminar and workshop are like bread and butter, yin and yang. I don't care if you've read all of Tyler's articles, there's something about hearing him say it that changes things, hearing his tonality. The social dynamics learned at the seminar can be applied anywhere, even though there was an obvious focus on women. I've been getting more respect from friends, peers, and coworkers, since taking the seminarIt sounds crazy but my model of the world and myself has completely changed since the seminar. They had a bunch of guest speakers that were very valuable too. If you're not successful with women, you always wonder if you look good enough. My belief before was "I'm not good looking enough to get girls without doing any game." My belief now is "I'm good looking, but that's not enough to get laid, I need game too." Overall, this is an awesome experience and you all should go. It'll be a while before I go to another workshop/seminar because I'm still seeping everything I learned. It's an intense weekend.
- Dan A. from San Diego, CA, USA
Here's What You Get from
- Over 20 full hours during 3 days of LIVE training from Tyler, Executive Producer and Co-Founder of Real Social Dynamics, share his own unique methods, latest tactics, and cutting-edge dating strategies to succeed with women. (a $1997 value)
Plus, Special Bonuses For
Bootcamp Clients Available on the Same Weekend...
- Over 20 full hours of LIVE in-field and personal training from Expert Dating Coach Gurus who will demonstrate how to properly approach and attract women; and who will critique your body-language, voice projection, and interactions with gorgeous women. (a $2,997 value)
- A personalized curriculum of in-field briefings created by Dating Gurus who will take particular lessons from their custom-tailored Bootcamps; and who will provide dating tips useful to your particular sticking points (a $997 value)
- Access to a super-secret Alumni Website full of special offers, discounts, and training opportunities (a priceless value)
- And much more...
When sold separately, this same kind of training would easily sell for over $10,432. Although you can take one program or both, it is highly recommended that you signup for both programs in the same weekend. Superconferences are great complementary programs to the Bootcamps.
On top of that, by signing up for both a Superconference and Bootcamp in the same weekend, you will save yourself thousands of hours of mistakes and thousands of dollars you might spend on other products that would not get you off your ass and take the action necessary to get successful results.
“Register Now for an Early-Signup Discount”
For those of you who signup NOW, you will receive an amazing discount...
If you REGISTER TODAY, you can secure a space to attend a Superconference for only $1200 (US Dollars) by placing down a $400 advance deposit .
This means that you pay $400 now for a Superconference, and the balance is due when you arrive at the Live Program(s). It's secure, easy, and all payments are deducted from your credit card using our GeoTrust secure, credit card processing system.
Since we are highly protective of the privacy of our clients, all program details, booking information, and registration confirmation is emailed to you and kept confidential.
You are responsible for your own airfare, transportation, and lodgings, it's highly recommended that you make all of your arrangements as far in advance as possible to secure the best rates.
Sign-up as soon as possible so you are guaranteed a spot at a Real Social Dynamics Live Program because spaces are limited to the first clients who signup and every Superconference ever held has sold-out with a waiting list.
I’m So Sure That You Will Love This Program That I’m Willing To Do Something That Nobody Else Is Willing To Do By Offering a Full Money Back Guarantee...
If you aren’t completely satisfied with your Superconference, I’ll refund your money. It’s that simple. FULL REFUND.
I only ask one thing. The only requirement is that you attend the ENTIRE program.
If you skip, walk off, or show up late, deal’s off. I know that if you attend the entire Superconference, you will get so much value that you’ll be dying to share your experience with your friends.
This Superconference is the best thing for your success with women. If you don't agree, let me know what went wrong and he’ll make sure you get a refund. You must let me know that you want a refund before the program ends.
And at the end of the program, I will immediately contact HQ to process a refund.
I don’t get paid unless you are delivered a phenomenal program. So make sure you give an honest assessment of the program each night, so that they can customize it to match your expectations.
If you signup right now, I'll spread your payments out so you only have to put down a $400 deposit to reserve your space. You don’t have to pay your balance until you show up for your program... it's that easy.
I cannot POSSIBLY make it any more easy or low risk for you.
When you signup, you'll be taken to a secure order page where you can order your ticket (just use a valid credit or debit card for your order - you can pay by mail or PayPal, but I can't reserve a space for you via check until your check has cleared).
Go through this Superconference from beginning to end. You will see INSTANTANEOUS RESULTS, and you WILL start meeting more hot women.
Take the Superconference RISK-FREE. If you decide that it's not for you - for ANY REASON – just let me know, stay til the end, and if you want a refund at the end of the Superconference, I will make sure you get it.
If you love the program (and I'm betting that you will), you will be absolutely enthusiastic about how you made the right choice.
I truly want to help you meet and date more beautiful women. I get emails every day from guys who have taken the programs that are now having big time success in the dating world, and I want to see you get these results too.
Now is the best time to get this area of your life handled so signup now and set yourself on a path of momentum towards the success you've always wanted with beautiful women in your life.
Dating Success Coaches and Friends,
P.S. I guarantee that you will find no programs that are better for you in your education on Success with attracting and dating women. And if you want to hear about our Live Programs straight from alumni who have graduated from our programs...
See Success Stories Of Real Guys Who Participated in Live Programs
Video Success Story #1
Video Success Story #2
Video Success Story #3
FAVORITE LIVE PROGRAM SUCCESS STORY #1
The feedback was simply excellent, very encouraging and supporting. There were 2 students per instructor and I found I had learnt a lot more body language. I was able to stay in sets much longer this time; I winged a lot of playful games which I found worked really well. And I managed to [kiss a girl] on the street! First time! Thanks. I'm learning to not wait for a response, isolating (splitting sets), improving vocal projection and body language for opening. Plus, I put hooking [captivating women] into practice. I enjoyed winging [with Randy] as well. Randy is an excellent instructor - support, understanding with good feedback, and energy.
- William Y. from Manchester, United Kingdom
FAVORITE LIVE PROGRAM SUCCESS STORY #2
I expanded my comfort zone and understanding tremendously. Very impressed by the set up, seeing instructors in set and then going into set and getting feedback to improve has helped me a great deal. What is very interesting is the mix of instructors and how they all have their unique style and offering their different insights.
- Simon F. from London, England, United Kingdom
FAVORITE LIVE PROGRAM SUCCESS STORY #3
I was impressed with the structured, specific model of pickup taught on the program. What I wanted to get out of it was an increased level of knowledge about the progression of pickup, and most importantly the removal of hesitance when it came to approach. I feel I have this now and will be more focused to capitalize on opportunities which may present themselves.
- Dan W. from Newcastle, United Kingdom
FAVORITE LIVE PROGRAM SUCCESS STORY #4
The SF seminar was amazing. I learned soooo much stuff and approached more girls than I had in like 6 years. When I signed up for this seminar I had just broken up with a long term girlfriend.. Then I did some online stuff with pretty good success and met 10 chicks in like 2-3 months and I met one I really liked and we are currently dating. But I had already signed up for this workshop - so i went anyway.. Watching those guys work was great - seeing the material done live from guys who have developed the skills is amazing. Even with one opener and a best friends test Jeffy had these 2 chicks smiling ear to ear, giggling with delight within like 20 seconds!... It is like seeing the male - female interaction Matrix and being able to jump off buildings and dodge bullets.. It's no longer a mystery how pick up works. I had some pieces before but now I've got a feel for thew whole framework of steps. Great shit.. I will reccomend to dudes in the future for sure..
- Mike S. from San Francisco, CA, USA
FAVORITE LIVE PROGRAM SUCCESS STORY #5
It was sweet to see the stuff that you read in real life. They were very open to questions....like you could ask them anything, and they would help you with a sarge in real time..help you with sets....really friendly guys.
For the workshop, we would meet up, chat some, then hit the clubs/bars, do sets together, do sets alone, get criticism/suggestions. I imagine if you hadn't done anything like cold approaches it would be pretty overwhelming, and eye-opening.....but still worthwhile on many levels (seminar would be way important to know the frame we take).
Cool things were learning about vibing, not just stacking routine-stacking and just being REAL....being chilled out more, more dominant (less sort-of....harmless and funny) & better BL [body language] (posture, LOUD voice!!). Just being a cool guy. Knowing that what your doing sarging-wise is closer to the mark in terms of effectiveness cause you've seen these guys do it...and knowing their success.....so you're more confident about it.
Cool thing is, on one of the nights, I met this HB [hot babe], Geoff helped with isolation, tonguedown'd and I got her number.... we talked a bit the next couple days...and set day 2 on the following week. She's cool, was my chauffeur...drove me everywhere & shit. And she would buy us drinks and shit. A really sweet girl.....and a bartender, yo. Anyways, we ended up hooking up that night.
- Rick from Melbourne, Victoria, Australia
FAVORITE LIVE PROGRAM SUCCESS STORY #6
I must say the delivery of the information is absolutely awesome. Entertaining, direct, to the point and breaks this process down into manageable steps. I was focused on the structure that they were breaking down and explaining brick by brick. My mind blew a fuse more than once. I wrote more there than any university lecture I have ever gone to. I got through two note books. I was seeing how my own life stories could be shared in a more entertaining way. I learned that I could attract women and it had nothing to do with them. It was me. This was a huge relief. All my previous sexual encounters flashed through my eyes as I realised all what they had been teaching was what I had been doing when I pulled HBs [hot babes]. When I got blew out I was being afc. The proverbial penny droped.
They covered Social Pressure and how it controls us. How you can weld it like a thing to create desired reactions in people. How it is power. They covered BL [body language], what to do and what not to do, voice tone, approach angles, timing, logistics, planning, CB’s Amogs, and more. It was beautifully presented. They did an NLP session as well which was MONEY and they had Geoff do internals and motivation each day too, from his Anthony Robbins days. Despite what I have read, RSD is not a one man show. Each presenter covered their topic brilliantly and they were all fucking amazing.
During the evening we had a prep talk, split into our teams, assigned instructors and we were led out. This was great. We did Street, Bars and clubs. I learned so much. just seeing what is possible. What can be done. If you have an ounce of balls in you, RSD workshop will bring it out. If you have absolutely none, they will demonstrate the hardest set you ever seen so you can get the self-belief to approach an easy two set yourself. Its fast, it’s intense and it works. I call it Electro Shock Therapy as it rewired my AFC [average frustrated chump] circuits.
I came back a changed man. I was getting up before the seminar and opening 5 sets before we stared again. I was alive again. Buzzing. Feeling it! I got a day 2 and really felt it too. Personal treatment.
Ok we were a lot of guys however, I told Geoff I can’t do it in Night Club. He made me. He got me in there and took me around for a one hour 1-2-1. It was largely down to him that I got kiss closes the same night. I would be in set and I would hear this whispering voice say (psssss lean back….pssss handsdown…pssss… kino…psssss…neg…..pssss….turn away) It was amazing. Open her, open her. DO IT. GO DON’T THINK, GOOOO. Shove. I’m in. Hey this is not so bad…
One German guy could not open. Tyler saw this and took this guy out of the lecture and into the street for two hours. He then pushed him all night. I then look around, see him in the club and this guy is on fire.
26 hung with me too and he has a real rapport building style with trainees and has a lot of great skill. He showed me how to tone down and calibrate the humour and provided great feedback. He is not even a big advocate of C+F [cocky & funny] style so it was really cool to see a very natural approach.
Randy did a lecture on AMOGing Yeah he has made a theory out of it and then he demonstrated. He had a 6 set and a celebrity amog and he held it tight for about 30 mins. The celebrity left, the chicks stayed.
RSD guys do work their own sets during workshops but they break off and move on. They are demonstrating, not going for lays. Without the demonstrating I would not have gone into set, no f*cking way. My head was so in the wrong place when I started but watching what is possible was an awakening for me. And none of these guys are good looking (sorry guys, you suck, looks wise!) I’m like, sh*t, I CAN DO THAT. And I did! Boy did I do it. They went for lays after two o/clock when the workshop ended. But they also hang with students during their own personal time. I saw them go clubbing till 4, 5 o/c with students, including myself. So yeah they were late starters but they made up for that by staying out real late too.
I spent two weekends with these guys in London and Amsterdam and I only went home at 2 o/c if I was really tired and it was my choice and that only happened one time, my first night out. My brain was exhausted. But all the time, RSD were like, come on, lets go do some more sets. Nutters!
I haven’t hung out with a posse for years and I really enjoyed the comradery.
The whole experience felt like some mad movie. My last night with these guys was the last Saturday they were in London. It was 4am, 2 hours past close. I’m out about to bail, happy with my two number closes and a couple of make outs. Then there is a fifteen set with just two girls. Its opened, its chaos, all kinds of people are in it. But Tyler and Geoff are in flow, gaming, unaffected by the spectacle that surrounds them. The guys there don’t know what’s going on. RSD spilt the set, Geoff extracts, Tyler sees this and follows. They leave. All there is a bunch of guys eating kebabs and their chicks are gone.
Now that’s what I call an ending. I went home and it took a few days to absorb what I had seen. What is possible. What can be achieved. I realised this is the most fun form of self-development I have ever encountered.
So I don’t expect them to start off pandering to my old false idea of how the world works. It’s a realistic approach. So what they will do is address your issues if you bring’em up. Make time for you if you ask. Take you out well late into the early hours if you want. Its alpha, get with the programme. Besides, the breaks are good for making friends and finding local wings, kick back and enjoy it. I met some great dudes in both locations. RSD rocks. I love it and my life is changed for it in many ways.
- Joe B. from London, England, United Kingdom
FAVORITE LIVE PROGRAM SUCCESS STORY #7
A lot of thoughts I had about the game were confirmed or answered in one form or another in the past week. I've also made some really cool new friends who I'll be staying in touch with. Before the trip down to London, I really didn't know what to expect of the whole thing, especially when I haven't met any PUAs [pickup artists] outside of Scotland. I have to say, that I haven't met so many cool guys in a week. Every single RSD guy is money, and I also met some other really cool cats. Armen was an awesome host. The best part about this past week was that we had a really good time.
- Vincent W. from Edinburgh, Scotland
FAVORITE LIVE PROGRAM SUCCESS STORY #8
First day after the seminar-workshop... I've gone out to my usual bar (french talking). I've spitted so much material from RSD it would be too long to type... it was so "by the book".
I got complimented so much that night it is a shame... (ie. Being hot, social, nice, etc..)... Countless number of ioi's [indications of interest]... The same reaction i saw in Tyler sarge where mine tonight!! I was just walking on the street and EC [eye contact with] girls and a group of girls where "Hou! hou! wow!" because i had this intense eye contact with one of them... ah! ah! ah! Seriously thanks!... You really helped me get my life on the right track! it's so Incredible, incredible!!
- M.A. from Montreal, Quebec, Canada
FAVORITE LIVE PROGRAM SUCCESS STORY #9
My skill is very much improved from taking the course, and I have a direction and understanding that I didn't have before. I'm not sure what others were expecting, but that was what I wanted out of it. That's what I went for and that's what I got, so I'm satisfied. It was well structured, and everyone got direct attention and feedback in their PU's [pickups]. I finally got to see the types of skilled PU's that I'd read about. It was nothing like I've ever see from my natural friends, who are also very good in their own right and I've learned a lot from them too. The RSD guys are in a league of their own though.
The RSD guys would tell me exactly how to approach, whisper into my ear what to say, and fix my body language, right in set IN FRONT OF THE GIRLS! The girls never noticed, and as soon as the corrections were made they would really open up. Then they would show the next one themselves, and they'd do what they'd showed me and it would work for them too. Then they'd push another student in, and breakdown to all of us what they were doing right and wrong while we'd watch, and then go in and fix it and whisper what to say to them. Then they'd do the next student. Then me again. Progressively, everyone's skill was getting better. They carefully coaxed a lot of very shy guys into sets, and helped them quite a bit although I'm sure they'd need a lot of work. Some of these guys were really hard cases. You'd never think to see them holding the attention of anyone, and they were doing it. Others were pretty good coming in, and those guys were seeing major improvements and really heating things up.
I actually watched Tyler walk right up to a couple who were making out, and say "MAY I CUT IN", as a joke. He figured out the girl had just met the guy (he later said because she was enjoying it too much), took her from him, and then kissed her within 3 minutes and took her number while the much bigger and better looking guy just sat there in shock. I was disgusted! He is extremely focused, and a natural leader. Twentysix was so friendly and engaging, it was amazing to see such a down to earth guy turn completely alpha as soon as he'd get into set. He ran a portion of the seminar, and was obsessively helpful in the field. You could really see him as a future important player with RSD. Todd as well. It was obvious why they brought these guys in. The whole group was great, too. They would show me how to change the way I spoke and moved, both by their examples as well as feedback. Their guest speeches during seminar were really insightful. I heard two students give reports that they got laid at the end of the night, and one of them was very shy. Many students with no skill got tonguedowns and phone numbers, and all of them seemed a lot more confident. I can't imagine that anyone take a lot from it.
- Slo from Montreal, Quebec, Canada
FAVORITE LIVE PROGRAM SUCCESS STORY #10
The RSD instructors show that learning pua [pickup artist] tactics will enhance your game by leaps and bounds!
The RSD team even critiques your game on the spot, giving you real-time feedback, acting like a self-adjusting missile on its way home towards the target.
The Instructors even urge their students to ask them questions on breaks and lunch times. They are more than happy to answer questions. Why? They take pride in their work.
- John J. from New York, NY, USA
FAVORITE LIVE PROGRAM SUCCESS STORY #11
I was at the Real Social Dynamics live program in Montreal last weekend, and had a blast.First, although I did see instructors jump into my sets at times, this was when the set was about to be lost anyway, believe me. Second, as demonstrations these were EXTREMELY valuable. Keyboard jockeys take note, you have to actually SEE this stuff happen to fully appreciate what's possible. For example, at one point Todd opened a 2-set from Denver I'd just lost after 60 seconds with the SAME opener I'd used...and number-closed them 5 minutes later. It was a real eye-opener to see that an average-looking guy could just step in and be the center of positive attention in a group of hotties so quickly.
Now what separates them from other average-looking guys is that they've developed a distinct style that suits each one of them, and this is something that anyone can do with a little help. By the third day, I could see that most of the guys there were much more confident in-set on day 3 than on day 1. One soft-spoken Asian guy who could barely get an opener out without becoming tongue-twisted on day 1, was able to hang in-sets for a couple minutes on day 3--a massive improvement when viewed in perspective.
- O.F.B. from Montreal, Quebec, Canada
FAVORITE LIVE PROGRAM SUCCESS STORY #12
Just watching these guys was hugely inspiring for me,as I rarely get to hang around with quality PUA’s [pickup artists] in London. I even witnessed Geoff literally stealing someone’s girlfriend from under this guys nose and pulling her. She was then literally following him around like a puppy dog! Similarly watching Tyler..he seems to get almost immediate attraction as soon as he opens his mouth, or maybe before!
I believe once you have, any other place seems relatively easy to open in and it has encouraged me to improve my BL [body language], tonality and volume of speech. Most of the guys obviously have just got good by practice and therefore surely anyone could do this if they put the time in!
Also the instructors stay on way after the workshop officially closes (2:00) still giving students advice…
Since the Workshop:
It’s now been about 5 weeks since the workshop and I have noticed some positive effects:
My opening has improved probably by about 50%..I have yet to be blown out immediately since the workshop( I still don’t always keep it going necessarily!).
The good feelings I had on the Saturday night have remained with me, my state is better and I feel more willing to open now. Last night I ran one of my best ever sets on an Australian HB8 [hot babe] .
Overall the RSD workshop is not a magic pill (I was slightly guilty of thinking it was) I believe you can take a lot out of it, but it is important to put the hard work in. I am determined to increase my sarging to 2-3 times a week now to ensure I capitalise on the good stuff and stop making excuses for not sarging.
I would say if you can afford it then it is worth going on the workshop. I imagine if you are already good at PU then it is even more beneficial, but If you are at my stage then you will probably get some good things out of it, but need to keep working to fully capitalise on them.
- S.F. from London, England, United Kingdom
FAVORITE LIVE PROGRAM SUCCESS STORY #13
So between NY and London I went out day and night and did around 300 approaches, which works out at about 20 a week, and I improved massively. Like I went from needing serious improvent on openers to getting attraction consistently, working sets well and generally improving my confidence and social skills.
Then the London workshop. There was a good ratio of students to instructors, and a great briefing before the first night where we roleplayed openers to get an idea of how loud to talk, what angle to stand at etc. I knew all this from the previous event but it was great to get into the mood.
I winged with 26 to start with, which was really cool as I only did one set with him in NY. He gave great feedback, things like turning to face them as soon as they face you (a common workshop-ee mistake apparently), false time constraints, how to use bodylanguage for active disinterest, and projecting louder to get the set to stop. Later I winged with jlaix and we did a few AMOG sets, which was fun.
I took a list of questions to Todd the next day who was happy to answer them for me. This cleared things up a little but it was on the final night that what I had learned in the previous two came together and made sense.
Both workshops were worth the money for me, I got the basics down in the first one and more advanced stuff in the second.
- Cas C. from London, England, United Kingdom
FAVORITE LIVE PROGRAM SUCCESS STORY #14
Despite having done a lot of approaches prior to the workshop, I managed to have my view of PU and my own game shredded into tiny fragments. The weekend was an emotional-roller coaster ride of MASSIVE proportions.
Interacting with Papa was very useful:
- He demonstrates a good example of the type of style and fashion sense that I think is best suited to me and my lifestyle. (My interpretation of this type of style is basically dressing one level above what everyone else is dressing so you stand out but still maintain a relatively "professional" look.)
- He explained a lot of issues in PU that I had been wrestling with.
- We winged a few good sets including a german 2 set that again I think we could have extracted home but I wanted to continue with the workshop.
Overall the workshop rocked. Personally I'd recommend it mostly for the opportunity to see how the shit is done realtime (a lot of it is very different to what I interpreted just from reading articles).
- P.D. from London, England, United Kingdom
FAVORITE LIVE PROGRAM SUCCESS STORY #15
For some reason, it clicked very well with Mike. Many of the stuff I learned with him in field have helped me big time with my game. Being able to stop a group a hot girl on the street was f*cking unreal. Very eye opening and very easier than solo girls. And I have learned to do it correctly with indirect opener. Not quite perfect, but had set that opened very well. Again that night i have done probably 10 sets.
- K.K. from Montreal, Quebec, Canada
FAVORITE LIVE PROGRAM SUCCESS STORY #16
As many here know, I run mainly a day game, and wanted a push to get back into clubs. I think Papa will attest I number closed - and date bridged a solid 9.5. Damn I didn't think I was this good either! Papa was the perfect wing, seeing the entire set and helped block a number of AMOGS [alpha male other guys] who were watching in awe. Papa had a lot of excellent in field tips.
- William B. from Las Vegas, NV, USA
FAVORITE LIVE PROGRAM SUCCESS STORY #17
Now, all I have to say about Tylers presentation was that it ROCKED. You can tell alot about someones pickup style just by the way that they talk. And Tyler can TALK. - You talk about vibing... the boy will vibe and vibe and lose track of time, one conversational thread after another... and thats the way it should be. AMAZING.
Listen to him talk - he seems to have a wall around his INNER game and it's like it's his OUTER GAME that interacts with the chicks - strictly skillset. That's how it should be - thats how someone gets finely tuned at this stuff. If there's a bad reaction - it's the skillset, and so the skillset is being constantly improved. I've been this way too at certain points, but not consistently... because I found that the wall around my inner game also created a wall around my emotions for these chicks.
Now for Advanced guys, there are so many different levels to some of the things that Tyler says that he'd say something - and it would trigger a thought process of a related idea from NLP, or another seduction system, or trigger something I had done that worked in the past - and even get me started on new ideas - and models for the GAME.
- Chris F. from Los Angeles, CA, USA
FAVORITE LIVE PROGRAM SUCCESS STORY #18
How to be more alpha, like taking up more space, being louder etc…it's one thing to read about, it's another to actually witness its execution in the field. Re-opening sets. This was huge for me (and I know for Art as well). It felt really awkward at first—however, they all –ALL- ended positively (whether the sets were successfully reopened, or closed, or even just as a learning experience). So what was amazing was witnessing my own limiting beliefs break down (as well as the other guys').
- Faisal M. from New York, NY, USA
FAVORITE LIVE PROGRAM SUCCESS STORY #19
Real Social Dynamics Workshop helped critique me on sets. It helped me to improve my Body Language even more...and now my Vocal Projection is very good and it taught me that I should use more of what I already know to Demonstrate Higher Value. Experiment with what fits best and where and when. And also use it and adjust things for day game, etc. I got the sense they [the instructors] are very cool and have great personality----so after a few routines to get a sets attention they shift into just BEING themselves and that can make all the difference.
- Michael T. from New York, NY, USA
FAVORITE LIVE PROGRAM SUCCESS STORY #20
Here's a micro review of RSD:
- Teaches you how to be cool
- Teaches you social skills you may lack
- Pushes you into lots of sets
- Some incredible instructors (ie Geoff, 26)
- Different instructor styles appeal to difference people
- Very high-intensity seminars, very intense, info over-load
- Great mix of different subjects in the seminar (Alex & 26 were favourites)
- Pushes you into a *LOT* of sets (I did 100 approaches easily this weekend)
- S.F. from London, England, United Kingdom
“Discover the Secrets to Attracting Women...”
Click HERE for Details on Coaching at RSD World Summit.
- AND -
Click HERE for Details on Field Coaching at Bootcamps.
Positivity And State Conditioning -- Why Seeing The Good In Yourself, Your Experiences, And Other People Makes You A More Potent Dude
Heeeeeeeey, what's UP??
I want to start by saying thanks to everyone who read and enjoyed the last article.
That's really where my life is at right now -- the zone I'm in -- so it was awesome to see people relating to it.
So I'm still snowed in with the December deadlines for Blueprint book and new RSD Nation. This is definitely the hardest period of work I've experienced in my life, but in many ways, also one of the most rewarding.
Today I want to talk about another topic that's become significant for me over the past few years, which is the philosophy of "Positivity".
As a dude who was pretty friggin' aggressive and angry most of my life, this has been a new way of thinking that's helped me on a lot of profound levels -- with meeting women, relationships, my professional life, and generally just with the vibe I'm in on a day to day basis.
So hopefully there's at least something in here you can learn from. Let's do it.
THE PHILOSOPHY OF POSITIVITY
Positivity is hands down, one of the most attractive qualities a man can have.
That means your attitude, the things you focus on and talk about, your view of yourself, your view of others, and the emotions that you’re addicted to feeling on a day to day basis.
To have this go “click” in your head you need to understand how it works and how it can benefit you, and then develop a sort of personal philosophy for dealing with the world that keeps you in a positive emotional state.
This is important not only for attracting girls, but also because it’s a sort of hidden code that “cool” people intuitively understand and “uncool” people are usually clueless about.
HOW POSITIVITY MAKES WOMEN MORE ATTRACTED
Positivity makes women attracted to you. Why??
First off, human beings are unique in that we are consciously aware that life is uncertain and we’re going to die some day, and yet at the same time we have the ability to focus on the positive and maintain a healthy and optimistic worldview.
Generally speaking, a positive worldview is an indication to women that you’re resourceful enough to engage with the world full-on.
When a guy is too mentally flimsy to keep himself in a good mood, women are left unsure about whether he’s fit to cope with the day to day challenges of his life. But when you are engaged with the world in a state of positivity, your mind is attuned to all of the hidden opportunity that is constantly surrounding you, and you are infinitely more resourceful.
Next is that being a happy person is an indicator of good emotional and mental-health. It communicates to the girl that your emotions are wired properly, and that your time and energy aren’t being depleted by personal drama. Being positive also gives you an air of being vibrant and physically healthy, as opposed to being delicate and meek.
Lastly, and possibly the most important, is that the way you feel internally is always being projected outwardly and transferred to the people around you.
When you feel positive you infect people with positive energy, and when you feel negative you infect people with negative energy. Being an attractive adult man means managing your emotions so that people feel uplifted when you’re around.
Emotions are contagious.
Especially with women, whose minds are wired with the ability to mirror and empathize with whatever it is that you feel (which is why when you feel overwhelmingly happy girls will say “You’re so awesome!”)
This effect is also amplified when you’re the person who is more socially forceful, which is usually expected if you’re going to attract women. So the transfer of how you feel to the woman you’re talking to becomes even more intense.
THE FOUNDATION OF EMOTION BENEATH THE WORDS
A secret that most guys who do well with women grasp instinctively, and that almost everyone else fails to realize, is that women respond more to the emotional state you’re in than your actual words.
Even if you’re yelling at a girl and giving her a hard time, if you have a strong foundation of positive energy beneath the words she’ll usually like it because you seem fun.
She may even giggle and shriek because you’re overloading her with positive emotions – and you’re being funny by mixing up the verbal and non verbal channels (like saying “You’re crazy” while beaming with positive energy, or “I’m shy” while beaming with self esteem).
This is similar to the modern day prescription drug television commercials, where the narrator describes the various nasty potential side effects with a soothing voice and relaxing music, and people just focus on the positive tone.
On the other hand, you can be in an emotionally depressed state and try to cover it up with jokes and happy words, and the girl will laugh for a second but still sense that something about you is out of alignment.
BE AUTHENTIC FROM WHATEVER STATE YOU’RE IN
Now this knowledge might cause you to become paranoid if you’re in a bad mood. You might even feel yourself descending into an excuse based mindset of “I can’t talk to girls today because I’m not feeling at my best.”
This is mentally scattered, and a totally useless way of looking at it.
A man always has to be able to communicate authentically from whatever emotional state he happens to be experiencing.
You will feel negative at certain points of your life, but you also have to know that it can never stop you from being who you are. Otherwise you become afraid of bad emotions and wind up blowing them out of proportion (and you inadvertently create a self-fuelling loop of “feeling bad about feeling bad”).
An analogy would be how studies have shown that being positive and eliminating stress can improve your immune system. But if this knowledge makes you think “I’m being negative, this is destroying my health” then it becomes yet another way to make yourself even more stressed.
The same goes for meeting women. You can understand that being positive makes you more attractive, but if you play a game with yourself where you say “I’m not feeling good, so I know this is going to go bad” then you’re creating a self fulfilling prophecy that wasn’t necessarily the case.
It’s all about working with what you’ve got. If you’re feeling great, then know that this will help you and approach with confidence. If you’re feeling down, then approach regardless and assume she’ll be attracted based on some other quality in your character.
The point is that being positive is in your best interests, you will never be perfect with it, but you generally just do the best you can.
You use this knowledge when it serves you, and discard it when it’s not.
WHAT POSITIVITY IS AND IS NOT
Positivity is a decision to seek out and focus the value in all people and situations, while filtering out anything that’s of no use.
Being positive doesn’t mean that you can never be “negative.” There is a time and a place for everything.
But it does mean that you have to draw clear lines in your mind about when you’re willing to engage in negative energy, and not allow yourself to be sucked into it at any time outside of that.
Positivity is not about burying your head in the sand and being naïve.
Positivity is not about being the weird over-positive guy who has a blank stare into space.
Positivity is not about overdramatizing everything as if it’s “Sooooooo great!!” in a way that seems inauthentic and fake.
And positivity is definitely not about ignoring the essential truths of life, or running away from the entire nature of a situation and interpreting it objectively.
What positivity is about is recognizing the subjective nature of the human experience – how what you focus on becomes an unconscious habit and creates your sense of reality – and then becoming the type of guy who radiates an attractive positive energy out towards the world.
So let’s have a look at the benefits…
YOU STEP INTO THE SHOES OF GUYS WHO ATTRACT WOMEN
When you take on a positive mindset, you’re walking in the shoes of the guys who naturally attract girls.
The reason for this is obvious: if you’re enjoying a lifestyle where you have everything you want – women, sex, fun, friends, purpose, challenge, hobbies – what do you have to be upset about? Not much.
Being positive is basically a way of communicating that you’re smart and resourceful enough to get your life together. It gives the impression that you must be internally fulfilled.
Ironically it’s often the people who live very unsuccessful lives, and don’t respect themselves enough to care, who come across as being the most happy (the lack of personal standards allows them to be naturally “care free”). But regardless of how they achieve it, their attitude still gives the initial perspective to an outsider that “life is good with this guy”.
Now on the other hand, you can probably find counter examples of guys who are positive but still haven’t had a lot of success with girls (maybe they aren’t being assertive enough). And you can probably find examples of emotional train-wrecks who still have women chasing them regardless. The world is a big place and you can usually find examples of just about anything.
But generally speaking, if you’re living a happy life and you continually renew your emotional chemistry through a healthy sex life, the difficulties of life don’t need to affect you the same way they affect “normal” guys.
(And when you think about it, by being negative you are in some ways pinpointing yourself as a guy who could be frustrated for a variety of reasons, including loneliness and a lack of physical intimacy.)
The bottom line is that when you take on the mindset of the guys who get the success you want, you are taking a step closer to getting similar results for yourself.
"Positivity is potency" for exactly this reason – it is a self fulfilling prophecy.
YOU ASSUME THAT PEOPLE SEE THE BEST IN YOU
Even if it’s not always realistic, your emotions tend to react on the assumption that whatever you’re thinking about other people is probably pretty similar to whatever they’re thinking about you.
If you think badly of people – of course you’re going to feel defensive – it’s your reality that people are having all sorts of negative thoughts.
But when you get good at finding the best in people, suddenly your reality is that they probably see the best in you as well, and you speak with the full assumption that people will be totally cool.
This is different from being a groupie or a fan boy – where you think so highly of someone you place them on a pedestal above yourself. That isn’t really thinking positively, because it’s just some personal drama you’re dealing with that people don’t even appreciate.
The point is just that when you see the best in people, you free yourself up from the mental noise about whether or not they’re judging you, and it makes you more at ease to put your real personality on the line.
This changes you in a very profound way because you are sort of “side stepping” the psychological need to feel high status when you’re “putting yourself out there”. You’re just at ease with yourself, at ease with other people, and at ease with the fact that people have their pros and cons.
On the other hand, sometimes people will try to “side step” the need to feel status by just looking down on everyone, so they can feel good about themselves by comparison. This can actually work in the short term, but it’s a cheaper way of feeling confident that forces you to rely on all sorts of nonsense rationalizations to continually justify it.
More powerful is just to judge no one (you can discern their behaviour – but not judge their inherent worth), and to be social with an almost child-like freedom of expression.
PEOPLE LIVE UP TO THE IDENTITY YOU SET FOR THEM
When you expect the best in people, you give them a new identity to live up to.
A girlfriend who wants to cheat on you will be far less likely if you give her a total trust (assuming you have personal boundaries and you’re not tolerating blatant disrespect).
Being jealous you give her the excuse to say “Well he already thinks I’m going to cheat so I might as well just do it and have fun.” But giving her an identity as a girl who you regard as having integrity, she suddenly has a lot more to lose.
It’s the same thing with your opinions of people in general.
If someone is frustrating you, give them a better identity to live up to. Oftentimes their behaviour will totally change.
Other times it will accomplish nothing, and from there you can call them out on it or blow them off. But the general practice of “helping people to find their way back to the positive person they really are” is often the better approach.
PEOPLE WHO ACT FAKE TAKE OFF THEIR MASKS
It’s a funny aspect of human nature that we often relate to each other through a filter of social positioning, seeking approval, and general weirdness.
Sometimes you might feel inclined to complain about it, like “People are so superficial” or “Everyone is so self-absorbed!”
But when people act fake it’s usually because they’re afraid of putting their real selves out there. And when you obviously have a positive outlook towards everyone, people can sense they have no reason to put their mask on in front of you, because you’ll like them either way.
This can be a self-fulfilling prophecy in your everyday life.
Suddenly the exact same people who cause headaches for everyone else will put their best personalities forward for you, and your reality becomes a much better place to live.
GIRLS FEEL MORE QUALIFIED TO BE WITH YOU
When you have your life together, it can be hard to find a girl who measures up.
Most physically attractive girls don’t have the same motivation to work on themselves that you do – because the opposite sex is going to fawn over them either way.
For a lot of guys this creates a barrier. Girls will feel comfortable talking to them because it’s just a spontaneous conversation in a social environment. But when the same guy takes the time to call and invite her out it seems like he has an agenda, because he obviously doesn’t value anything in her other than sex.
Being the kind of guy who sees the value in people does a lot to side step this common issue. Ultimately it comes from realizing that the strong points in a girl are usually going to be found in areas totally different from yours. That’s the beauty of masculine and feminine energy.
When you’re inclined to see the best in people, girls feel like it’s more congruent and normal that you’re interested in them, which makes them more interested in returning your calls.
It also makes you an addictive source of validation, because they become their “best selves” when you’re around.
YOU LEARN FROM EVERYONE AND BECOME MORE RELATABLE
As you become “socially stronger” one of the biggest issues becomes relating to people on a level that makes them feel good. Oftentimes people will initially “like you” because they respond to status as a knee jerk reaction. But if you don’t reciprocate a genuine interest, it leaves them with a feeling of lingering mistrust.
Now think about it from the reverse perspective...
When a social interaction is important to you, your mind tends to be hyper aware of every little detail. You’re bracing yourself for something crazy to happen, and being extra aware causes you to “make meaning” out of random nonsense the person said or did that really has little significance.
Likewise when you become an object of importance in people’s minds, they’ll tend to do the same to you. With the best of intentions, and without realizing they’re doing it.
People often have a paradoxical relationship with people of high status. They love them, hate them, want their validation, and want to punch them in the face at the same time. They’ll be as fast to talk badly behind their backs as they’ll be to say “Oh hiiiiii!” when they bump into them in real life.
One of the most important things you can do for yourself is to make the decision that “You can learn something from everyone.” This is what makes you a relatable and a genuine human being.
And more important than the petty (and impossible) pursuit of making everyone like you, is that there really is something that you can learn from everyone.
With some people it’s obvious, and with some people it’s a lot harder to find, but there is value to be found in every person on earth if you are curious and open-minded.
By taking an active interest in learning from people’s best qualities, you are adding heaps of new ideas and abilities to your own personal repertoire.
It’s easy to learn only from people who you identify with. But more powerful is also to learn from people different from you, even who have qualities you dislike.
YOU OPEN YOUR MIND TO LEARN FROM SUCCESS
Seeing the best in people also applies if you’re not the most popular guy, and you’re making excuses in your head about how the popular people are all big jerks.
When you refuse to identify with people who are doing better than you, and you refuse to relate to their point of view, your mind turns off from learning what they’re doing.
This is similar to when poor people look down on the rich, believe that rich people have no problems, believe that rich people are holding them down and manipulating them – instead of simply learning from what makes them successful.
Even nastier is “side stepping” the need to feel status by looking down on the popular people, when you lack the substance to back it up. This causes all sorts of intense rationalizations. Elaborate webs of personal myths that become more important to you than your experience of the world in real life.
Obviously these sorts of mindsets represent a tremendous waste of time and energy, and a lot of useless emotional drama.
The healthy and powerful approach to life is just to see the value in people, ignore what’s of no use, and reap the benefits that come with a positive outlook.
POSITIVITY DOESN’T MEAN YOU LACK STANDARDS
The most obvious objection to seeing the best in people is that it conveys a lack of standards about who you’ll allow into your life.
Being a cool guy means people have to earn your friendship. You won’t be friends with just anyone. That’s a part of what makes people value your time and attention.
The difference is that there is always a foundation of no judgement and positivity in your view of people, regardless of whether or not you decide to spend time with them. Some people you meet for only a few seconds, and others you know for your whole life.
On the surface it seems paradoxical, but you can have a love for all people and still discern which relationships you’re going to invest your time and energy into. You can also establish boundaries, call out bad behaviour, and expect people to be their best selves around you, while still seeing them in an extremely positive light.
It’s the difference between how you operate in the world, and the sense of positivity and love towards people that you have at your core.
(As utterly funny as that sounds...)
Obviously this opens up a lot of room for hypocrisy. But any time you’re working on your own code of conduct, you aspire towards acting more in alignment with your values and integrity over the course of your life.
Beyond that, the other obvious objection is that seeing the best in people could mean you lack standards about learning from people’s behaviour.
The distinction is that as a guy who has a strong sense of reality, and who has the ability to interpret the world through your own eyes, you naturally focus on the “good stuff” and screen out anything that’s “bad”.
Usually it’s people who are unclear in their sense of reality who feel the need to dwell on the negative. They do this with a positive intention, because they’re in a zone where they feel like if they didn’t, they’d inadvertently lose themselves.
The point is that once you’ve reached a level where you know who you are, you know your place in the world, and you have a decent sense of what’s realistic and what’s not, you can see the best in people and anything outside of that doesn’t hit your radar.
You can make “discernments” about people’s behaviour without having to make “judgements” about whether they are “good or bad” (except in extreme cases).
This doesn’t really require a lot of thought. It just happens.
THE WORLD IS OFTEN WHATEVER YOU THINK IT IS
As you can see, positivity is just a big self-fulfilling prophecy.
Most of the time the world is whatever you think it is.
By being positive, you bring more positive people into their life, and make people who would have frustrated you act ten times better when you’re around.
You think better of people... which gives you the confidence to act better... which gets people to act better around you.
You look for the good in the world... which makes you find the good in the world… which makes you a more resourceful person.
And so on and so forth.
Bottom line: be a positive guy.
THE SKEPTICAL VOICE OF WISDOM
Over the course of your life, your mind has a tendency to pull you towards the social roles that you determine will suit you best.
At some point you might have taken on the role of being the guy who is sceptical or critical, and gotten more attention from it than if you’d been a quiet nobody with nothing to say.
Stop and consider...
Out of all the things you criticize, would they still bother you if you had all the attention you wanted from women and people and friends?
This can be a hard question to answer. It’s hard to know what issues are truly important to you, and what you focus on more from a place of frustration and a lack of identity.
You have to realize that while the issues that bother you might be fully legitimate, a lot of them you wouldn’t be focusing on and talking about if you had everything you wanted out of life.
A man has to have a sort of “standard” of what issues are worth his attention. The types of issues you ““make an issue out of” are a reflection of how you value yourself and your time.
There are issues that are “profoundly relevant” and “befitting” for a successful guy to be speaking out against (issues that extend beyond the needs of his ego and his own petty circumstances). And then there are issues that more geared towards people who don’t see themselves as having any bigger shoes to fill.
When you’ll make noise about just anything, it reveals you as being the guy who has little to offer other than the role of the “sceptical voice of wisdom”. It’s not that your criticism isn’t valid. It’s just that the amount you focus on it shows you have nothing else going on.
The real players in this world are rarely critics. They’re the people who do what they do, and who create the energy that other people latch onto, including the critics.
Ultimately you have to be firm in the role that’s most in alignment with the life you want to live and enjoy.
POSITIVITY IS A CLEAN ENERGY THAT PEOPLE APPRECIATE AND TRUST IN THE LONGTERM
Sometimes it’s just easier to relate to people in a frenzy of trash talk and negativity
(We’re talking about bitterness and a false feeling of superiority here – not when it’s teasing or joking around in good fun.)
This is a very tempting thing to do, because people often seem to enjoy talking about other people and feeling better than them by comparison, or talking about their problems and getting all self righteous.
The problem is that trash talking has a tendency to be addictive, and it becomes your “default mode” for relating to people and creating a bond. After a while it gets embedded into your psychology. You can barely go a day without using it as a “conversational crutch”.
Think of negativity as like a dirty energy that gives people an erratic buzz for a short period of time, but then leaves them feeling drained and sick of it in the long term.
That’s why you can relate to a lot of guys by calling women “bitches” – and at first they’ll be laughing and feeding into it. But later they’ll realize it’s a “wounded mindset” and lose a lot of respect for you.
(The same goes for women who are wounded about men. Their girlfriends will feed into it at first, but later they’ll realize it’s just immature.)
Positive energy, on the other hand, is a sustainable and “clean buzz”.
You can feel a positive state for an indefinite period of time, and it only further energizes and enlivens you. Positivity is always cool.
It also builds an incredible amount of trust, because people see they can speak well of you and you won’t trash them when they’re not around.
NEGATIVE EMOTIONS CAN PLAY A HEALTHY ROLE
An important question to ask your self is “What is negativity, really?”
Is it negative to recognize nonsense as being nonsense?
Is it negative to discern people’s good and bad behaviour, and to make distinctions about what’s acceptable and what’s not?
That’s not the case at all.
Negative thoughts and emotions are meant to serve a purpose. They direct your attention towards your needs that aren’t being met.
That might be a personal boundary that you’re failing to maintain. Or a bad situation that you’re seeing on the horizon. Whatever.
When you interpret internal negativity as a “signal” that there’s a problem you need to address quickly, it is serving the purpose for which it’s designed.
And that’s a very positive thing.
Dealing with negativity is also good for you when it’s in reasonable doses. It keeps you grounded in the reality of the world, so that when difficult situations arise they don’t floor you.
(An analogy would be how if you spent your entire life avoiding germs your immune system wouldn’t be as resilient. A certain amount of exposure is actually good for you.)
The issue is that the emotional state you’re most accustomed to experiencing becomes engrained and addictive over time.
So when you’re experiencing negative emotions too regularly, and it becomes a pattern, you later wind up being negative even when there’s no point.
YOU CAN’T JUST TURN IT ON AND OFF
Your mind is extremely adaptive.
Whatever emotional-state you experience the most, your mind lays down mental pathways to it, and you become unconsciously inclined to access it again and again.
Over time, the state that you’re most used to feeling becomes wired. It might not feel good, but it feels familiar. You’ve become addicted to it.
If you’re a gangster and you spend 10 years of your life fighting rivals and dodging authorities, your mind will adapt to thrive in an aggressive and paranoid emotional state.
At first you learn to fight to deter and avoid problems. But eventually you grow to like it, and you unconsciously put yourself in situations where you know chaos will ensue.
You’ve been born with this ability to allow you to adapt (and eventually thrive) in even the harshest and most undesirable of circumstances. It’s a gift.
The key is to use it consciously in your favour instead of addicting yourself to a state of mind you don’t want, without even realizing that you’re doing it.
YOU CAN TELL WHAT ENERGY YOU’RE ADDICTED TO
Generally you can tell what energy it is that you’re addicted to, positive or negative, by looking at a few basic factors.
-The way you see people
-The types of people you resonate with
-The vibe of most of your conversations
-The way you remember the events in your life
When you talk to a positive guy, you’ll usually notice that it’s hard to get him onto negative topics for too long. That’s because when you’re addicted to an emotional state, your mind will often create blind spots to anything that could jar you out of it.
You can be fully angry or upset, but if you talk to him about it he won’t really process with the same depth. He’ll probably just say “That sucks man... Awww well...” and then direct the conversation back to something funny or interesting just by reflex.
A guy who tends to be negative, on the other hand, won’t be able to get enough of it. He’ll love the topic, keep directing the conversation back to it, and go on and on and on about all the negative ramifications of your dilemma.
That’s because as a rule of thumb, people tend to gravitate towards conversation topics that reflect their inner state.
When you start to look for this stuff, you start to see it all around you. That doesn’t mean that any time someone addresses a negative issue that they’re negative. But you can get a general sense of what the state they’re most accustomed to by looking at the overall larger picture of how they act.
Beyond all that, generally speaking you can see what emotions you're addicted to just by the company you keep and the way that you remember your life.
If you're a guy who has a lot of negativity "wired into your neurology" then people who are negative will resonate with you on a very deep level.
And likewise, when you think about your life you'll probably remember a lot of the more fun events as being a lot less cool than they actually were.
This happens because with memory "every recall is a reframe" -- so whatever emotional state you're experiencing, when you recall your past experiences you'll likely re-focus what you remember out of it to match up with the way you feel at the time.
SO IN CONCLUSION... MAKE THE DECISION TO BECOME A MORE POSITIVE DUDE
Hopefully at this point you're seeing at least some of the value in a philosophy of being positive.
Maybe you agree with everything you read here, or maybe you feel some of it applies to you and some of it doesn't. Whatever.
The point is that if you're ready to make a change in your life, you have to be very deliberate about it.
It might seem crazy, but if you're willing to get out of your comfort zone then try the "Positivity Challenge" where you spend 10 days reframing everything in your life with a positive spin, and using the way you use your body to take on a more positive way of carrying yourself.
A big key here is also joking around and laughing a lot. Nothing is better for creating the foundation of a positive state.
You'll find that when you do this, you begin to see yourself as being a better guy, you'll see the best in other people, and you'll see your life in an infinitely better light.
It's up to you, and the choice is yours about how you want to live your life, but when you're ready to give this a try, it's always here waiting for you.
Thanks for surviving this massive read!! I'm back to work.